Training up our children

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

I have heard in the past that this verse is talking about a promise.  The promise is that if you raise your children to love and fear the Lord, then they will not leave that path when they are old.  I believe this promise and have seen it as truth in some families who are sincerely and whole-heartedly following the Lord.  I also believe that there is another side to that promise, which is the direct opposite of what most people think when they read that verse.  If you train up a child in the way he should go, and the path you train him on is blotted with the world and bad influences, he will most likely not depart from that path.  I have seen more cases of this kind of training than the one mentioned above in families whose lives are mixed with the world and claim a little of Christ too.

Which path are we supposed to lead our children on, to the world or to Christ?  If we mix a little of both in, which one do we think will win?  The world is pinning after our children's souls and will use any kind of device necessary to draw and entice them. Is it really so innocent to let them play with the world just a little bit? If we are claiming to be Christians, do we walk  a straight and narrow way and show it to our children? Or do we walk a not so straight, almost narrow path that strays a little on the broad path and let our children deal with the consequences of teaching them this kind of confusion?

Is there a middle road?  Is there a grey area between white or black?  When I read the bible, I only read of two roads, the broad way and the straight and narrow way.  I only read of good and evil; not good, a little bit of good and evil, and evil.  There is no middle road, and there is no grey area.  If we try to make a middle road, it will end up on the broad road to destruction and if we make a grey area we will not be white as snow.  Can we have both the world and Christ?  Here are some answers from scripture:

Mattew 6:24  No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

James 4:4  Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

Romans 12:2  And be not conformed (to fashion alike, to conform to the same pattern) to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God

Titus 2:12  Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world

James 1:27  Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world

1John 5:19  And we know that we are of God, and the whole world lieth in wickedness

John 15:19  If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you



The only time that a third option is ever mentioned is by our Lord in:

Revelations 3:15-16
15. I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.

16. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth

This third option of being lukewarm is a mixture of hot and cold.  The outcome of mixing the two is not a good one.  This is the same as mixing a little of the world with Christ. 


Having children puts the biggest responsibility on us as Christians that we can bear.  Not only are we accountable for our own choices for our own lives, but we will also be held accountable for the souls that God entrusted to us to raise up for Him and His glory.  If we drop the ball a little bit here and there, we will reap the consequences 10 fold.  If we are diligent and guard our children from harmful influences, they will reap the rewards when they are ready to face those things.  There will be no confusion and the choice to do what is right will be second nature when they are presented with those influences.  

When we walk the narrow way, it often causes division and strife from those that are not walking with us.  Often times, they do not see that they are walking the middle road or living in the grey area.  Why?  Because they have been influenced by both.   At times it becomes very difficult when we have to make decisions that go against others wishes.  It often looks as though we are being cruel or heartless, or that we are control-freaks with our children.  In the world, it is acceptable to let your children have their say, or to run all over you.  It is thought that you are to make them as happy as they can be and to go back on your boundaries to do so.  This is how the world loves. This is not what will make a child truly happy; in fact, it will more than likely ruin their character and eventually their soul.  God has given us so much instruction in regard to child training and none of it says to make them happy and give them what they want.  The bible mainly tells about how to train, or guide a child.  Let us lean on the Lord in this area and ask often for wisdom to fulfill His command to us as parents; to train them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

I had come across this website a few years ago and it has been a real blessing and has helped and encouraged me to train my children biblically.  I do not endorse all that this website says or has on it, but I do endorse what is biblically correct.  It is called Raising Godly Tomatoes.  If you can, please take the time to look over all the website.  If you have any feedback, good or bad, please share in the comments.

God Bless,

The Highest Honor

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to “honor thy father and mother”. We all know that we should honor our parents, and that our children should honor us. God has put us under our parents care, and he has given us children to care for. When I think about honoring my father and mother and how I want my own children to fulfill this commandment, I think of two ways to do it. The first would be to respect them, to obey them, to heed their wisdom and to follow their ways, if they line up with God’s ways. As Jesus says in the NT, no parent, even one that is evil, would give his child a serpent if he asks for food. Parents do care and love their children, even if they are evil, or live ungodly. They want what is best for their children and they make sacrifices for them, just as Christian parents do. But there is a difference. A Christian parent raises the child up for the Lord, to fear and love Him, to make the choice when they are raised to give their life to doing His will, and to hate and despise what is wrong and sinful. The parents take great care to raise them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord by following the ways the Lord has given to do this. They lovingly train their children how to behave and how to obey. They protect them from wrong and harmful influences that would militate against what is right, and they go to great pains to teach them the difference so that the children are not lured into doing what is wrong. They correct them by the manner prescribed in Proverbs and other places, so that they will remember that there are consequences for wrong actions. This not only helps them to become self-controlled, but it helps them to understand “sowing and reaping”. If parents follow God’s ways for raising their children, there is no way the child can dishonor the parents or God. In fact, the highest honor that a Christian parent can receive is for their children to decide to follow the Lord. This is the second way that we can honor our parents, and our children can honor us.

 Now I'd like to contrast the way a non Christian parent raises their children. Most Non Christian parents raise their children with uttermost care, and want what is best for their children: in this life. They want their children to obey, behave and to respect them. But usually, God’s way for doing this is not followed. Parents end up yielding their will to what the children want, and allow wrong influences into their children’s lives to appease them. They want their children to enjoy themselves, to have fun and to be successful: in this life. They usually don’t consider the spiritual aspect of how they are raising their children, but mainly look to the child’s physical wellbeing and happiness. Though their intentions are good, and they love their children just as much as Christian parent do, they will not get the results that they desire. Most often than not, the children grow up to become selfish, and their wills are not subject to the parents. They often rebel and the relationship between them and the parents becomes strained. They usually end up following the ways of the world, and this just makes the situation worse. Not only do they totally dishonor their parents by the way they act and the lives that they lead but, and most importantly, they totally dishonor God.

 Now, I'm sure that there are situations that happen when the parents do follow God’s way for their children, and the children decide when they are able to forsake the way their parents have taught them. When they do this, they forsake the Lord in return, and choose to serve Satan. Deuteronomy 21 v18-21 gives this example. When this happened in the OT, the parents were not to just accept their son the way that he was” because he is their son, and they still love him”, but rather they were suppose to hand him over to be stoned for his rebellion, so that sin would not spread. What a heartbreaking ordeal for the parents. But what about this kind of situation: What if the parents are worldly and the children grow up to be apart of the world, but then later in life, the children see the error of their way and repent. What if they live the most ungodly lifestyle, then completely turn their life over to do the Lord’s will at whatever cost, mainly by rejecting the life that they formerly lived, and ceasing from the sin that they lived in. Would that be an honor to the parents if this happened, or would it be a shame? Most would say that it would be the highest honor to the parents, because their children would be reaching the highest place of success possible for any person, to be apart of God's Kingdom. This is more honorable than the most prominent position in the world, be it the President, some one like Bill Gates, or anyone who is remembered in this world.

 For a child to become a Christian when they were formerly a follower of Satan is the highest degree of honor for their parents, Christian and Non Christian. Why? Because that is all that will matter when we are in eternity. As parents, I think that we need to see beyond this world and see the reality that our children's souls will be in eternity one day, either in heaven or hell. Do we realize the fight that we have on our hands to keep them on the way to the Kingdom of God? I often find myself wanting things for them that would draw them closer to the world, and further from God. I need to protect them from the tactics Satan will use to lure them into his kingdom and encourage godliness in them instead of worldliness. My only desire as a parent is to see my children fighting against the world and Satan’s kingdom by serving the Lord and obeying His Word. In my mind, this would be the highest honor.

4 Days....

My husband left Saturday morning to go on a preaching trip to Mindanao for 4 days. 4 days…. The day before he left, our youngest one was sick with a fever and deep cough. I felt nervous about being here alone with them. I was sick the next day also and it was a little difficult to get through the day with them. I felt better today and was blessed that I had both of them here with me. Our oldest keeps the youngest happy and they spend a lot of the time playing together. I had a visit from one of the brothers’ wives and I realized how much I needed my oldest around when she wanted to take him home with her. I knew that the baby would have a hard time without his bubby. So I was glad when he started to cry when she was about to leave, and he didn’t want to go with her. It has been a long time since I have had time alone with the boys. Since Sister Rose has been with us, it has been difficult to devote a lot of my attention to them. This time with them has made me see how important it is to show them attention in a godly way and that it is my responsibility to show them the Lord through my life and actions toward them.

Wow, what a huge responsibility. Do we mothers even realize how serious it is? Some do not, and their children will bring them shame when they are young and old and most likely go down the road to hell. Are we willing to sacrifice our whole life to minister to our children and raise them in the fear of God? Are we willing to be kind, selfless and understanding when they are sick and cry all day, needing to be held and we get nothing done except throwing together some food (which they don’t want to eat anyways), or when we really want to do something and they want you to talk with them or sit on the floor and play blocks. Is that too much to ask? Sometimes, we feel like it is.

We must be willing to sacrifice everything for our children for their sakes and their souls. We must die on our daily cross when we want time for “me” and the children need it. They truly are like sponges and soak up everything they see, hear, feel and experience. Are they soaking up God and His ways by our example, or are they soaking up a selfish, impatient, and prideful attitude and spirit? I have to admit that I see more of the second example in myself than the first. I need the Lord’s help to show Him to my children, but I have to do my part. This is where the dying is felt in our lives. And if we don’t die to those things that militant against the Lord’s will for our children, we set them up for disaster. Do we see the big picture? Lord, help us to see ourselves clearly and help us to humble ourselves and repent. Amen