A few weeks ago, two women came to the house to have a bible study. They were JW’s and we had talked with them the week before about the purpose of the covering in regard to headship. They wear a little scarf over their heads when they are in church, and also if they are in the presence of another man from their congregation and are asked to lead in the bible study or prayer. But they don’t believe that it should be worn at any other time than if they are asked to share around another man. This is a good practice and I appreciate it, but there is obviously a flaw. If we look at the headship order God has ordained, isn’t it understood that this headship is always in effect? Is there ever a time when God is not the head of Jesus, or when the husband is not the head of the wife? No, of course not. It is a permanent and constant order. So we asked them, “Is Jesus only the head of men on Sunday, or is he the head all the time?” They got the point, but they rejected the truth.
After this question, they gave many excuses in regard to the husband not always being the head of the wife. They talked about the unbelieving husband and said that there were examples of the wife disobeying her husband’s command to not attend their church. They said “We ought to obey God rather than man, so the wife needs to disobey her husbands command.” Of course, this would seem like the right thing to do, but the scriptures plainly teach that we as women are more subject to being deceived than men, hence the example of Eve given in 1 Timothy 2 v10-13. If we weigh all the scriptures together regarding the role of a wife, we see wisdom and protection in it. This brings me to what has been on my mind lately. Have you ever been talking with someone, where you were put in the place of making a decision for you and your family? Well, if you are in the right place of headship, you probably answered” I need to discuss this with my husband, and tell him the situation so that he can decide what is best.” After your reply, were you given a look of pity, mixed with disgust? I have often had that look thrown at me and even on occasion had a comment to express the nature of the look, such as,” why do you need to ask your husband for something like that,,” or “ God doesn’t expect you to obey him in everything.” It is most unfortunate for the female side of our race to have neglected and thrown away the blessings and wisdom of this teaching. Many homes are turned upside down by a willful and rebellious wife, who thinks that she knows better than her husband. I’m sure that some wives have better ideas of things, but the wisdom and accountability for the family rests with the husband, and God will make up for whatever the husband is lacking.
Before I was converted, I had no idea about submission in the role of a wife. I was heavily influenced with the feministic attitude that prevails in the world. You know, things like” the husband is equal with the wife and needs to do things that the wife does in the home”, or “my husband is not the boss of me, I can do what I want.” I’m not saying that the husband won’t help the wife if she needs it, but it is not his God-given responsibility to be a “keeper at home”, it is the wife’s. This was new to me, and it was difficult at first to agree with this teaching. A lot of the time, if my husband wanted to decide something a certain way, I would not be in agreement with it and would be pretty contentious about it. If the decision involved other people that did not agree, they would usually come to me and try to get me to compromise the decision or persuade my husband to change his mind.
I did give into this a few times, and after the fact, I realized my mistakes. I have learned, and many times I am still learning to trust in my husband and to heed his decisions for the good of our family. I believe that Sarah did the same thing. Abraham put her in a very awkward and sinful position by asking her to lie to save his life. I know that she had to struggle with this proposal. It was wrong, first of all, and it would cause her to sin against the Lord. If that same proposal was given today by the husbands of women who claim to be the daughters of Sarah, how many would choose to obey them? I can make a very strong estimation that not very many. In fact, these are some of the main points people usually bring out when they talk about submitting to your husband in everything, and justifying that wives do not need to submit to their husbands in everything. They ask,” Does the wife need to submit if the husband asks the wife to commit sin, or do something wrong?”
Well, according to the bible and the example given, the answer would be yes, in both cases. Do we really want to be called the “Daughters of Sarah”? Are we willing to stand against the tide and defend the truth in this matter when we are challenged to go against it? If so, then we need to raise our standards to make sure they fall in with God’s standards for the role of the wife. We have a tall order, sisters, and if we are sincere in our surrender to the Lord, then we will be sincere in our place as a wife. If the world looks at you with pity and they look at your husband as an overbearing tyrant because you love him and submit to his God-given authority, then REJOICE!! We are the better for it, and the wiser. God’s ways are opposite from the world and will always seem wrong and strange to the world. Let us be faithful in our calling and rest in the headship of our husbands.