Christian Modesty and the Role of Women

MODESTY and the role of women

 Here is a topic that a fellow sister addressed, please share your thoughts. If you would like to read more articles here is her blog- Narrow is the way

The question has come up on facebook - "How are you so sure that YOUR picture of modesty is the "right" one?" I answered quickly with the intent of addressing it more fully at another time. Now is that time. Here is what I said in brief: I do not think I am the one that has this all figured out and I do not think that people who do not dress just like me are immodest. I do however think there are basic things that do and do not reflect modesty as stated in God's Word. [I should have said, "I do not think that ALL people who do not dress just like me are immodest", because clearly I do think that many women dress immodestly] I believe that modesty cannot be looked at by itself; rather, it must be looked at coupled with the role of women in general. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First, what the Word of God says to women: 1 Timothy 2:9In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array. 10But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.11Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.12But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.13For Adam was first formed, then Eve.14And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
1 Peter 3:1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
Ephesians 5:22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Col. 3:18Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Titus 2:4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
1 Cor. 11:3But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. 4Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head. 5But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.
Deut. 22: 5The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God. Besides those specific verses about women's dress and behavior, here are a few more that can be included in that:
Matthew 5:28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Mark 12:29And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: 30And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. 31And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now some definitions of words found in the scriptures above, in alphabetical order.
 BROIDED What is woven, plaited or twisted together
CHASTE Free from obscenity; pure from carnality; pure from all unlawful commerce of sexes.
COSTLY ARRAY Precious, of great value.
DISCREET Prudent; wise in avoiding errors or evil, and in selecting the best means to accomplish a purpose; circumspect; cautious; wary; not rash.
GOLD / JEWELS Jewelry
 MEEK Mild of temper; soft; gentle; not easily provoked or irritated; yielding; given to forbearance under injuries.
MODEST Not bold or forward, not loose, not lewd [unlawful indulgence of lust], not excessive or extreme, not extravagant
OBEDIENT To submit to one's control, to obey
 QUIET Calm; undisturbed; peaceful; not agitated.
SHAMEFACED A sense of shame or honour, modesty, bashfulness, reverence, regard for others, respect, excessively modest.
SOBER Moderate, control, curb
SUBJECTION / SUBJECT / SUBMIT To submit to one's control, to obey
USURP One who acts on his own authority, to govern, exercise dominion over one ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All right, based on the verses and the definitions, here is what I conclude: From 1 Timothy 2:9-14 (my words are in [brackets]) In like manner also [see below for my comments on the previous statement], that women adorn themselves in modest apparel [dress in modest clothing - clothing that is not bold, flashy, or lewd ... it does not cause someone else to look at you with lust; it is simple and utilitarian], with shamefacedness [excessively modest in look and action - not loud, bold, and so on; downcast eyes, bashful] and sobriety [moderate in look and action; controlled]; not with broided hair [nothing fancy], or gold [no gold], or pearls [no pearls], or costly array [nothing expensive or fashionable]. But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works [we are to be adorned with good works]. Let the woman learn in silence [be quiet] with all subjection [obedience to those over her]. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority [over the man - to govern, exercise dominion over him], but to be in silence [be quiet ... and being quiet does not mean giving 'the silent treatment'! Do not nag or force your opinion on him. Do not get an attitude, give a nasty look, roll your eyes, or whatever else you can fill in the blank with. You are to be meek, quiet, chaste, sober, and so on. Love him, pray for him, be his helper in whatever it is he is trying to do. If you have been ungodly towards him in the past, you must work on earning his trust (read Proverbs 31) and maybe he'll actually want your opinion ... but don't force it on him if he does not want it.]. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. [clearly this is NOT a "cultural thing" as many would like to believe; it is not something that Paul or Peter started ... the Word takes us right back to the beginning and reminds us that we are the weaker vessel 1 Peter 3:7, thus God put a protection over us ... MAN ... things have not changed today, although people would like to believe they have.] Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands [be under his authority and control], as unto the Lord [this is explained in the next 2 verses -- > ]. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. [wives, submit to your husbands just like the church submits to the Lord ... he is your head, just like the Lord is the head of the church 1 Cor. 11:3. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (Eph. 5:32)] Titus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober [moderate], to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet [Prudent; wise in avoiding errors or evil, and in selecting the best means to accomplish a purpose; circumspect; cautious; wary; not rash.], chaste [Free from obscenity; pure from carnality; pure from all unlawful commerce of sexes.], keepers at home [take care of the home - this includes caring for the husband and the children], good, obedient to their own husbands [submit to his authority, obey him], that the word of God be not blasphemed. [if you do not do these things, you are blaspheming the word of God ... how is that? Because you are claiming to be a follower of Christ yet not obeying His words. He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. (1 John 2:4)] 1 Peter 3:1-6 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands [submit to his authority; obey him ... you are not submitting to him if he is afraid to do something that will make you upset.]; that, if any obey not the word [if he does not obey the word of God], they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives [he can be won to the word by the way YOU act ... and of course he can also be turned away from the word if you are not acting in a way that is in line with the word]; While they behold your chaste conversation [your life that is free from obscenity and pure from carnality] coupled with fear [your reverent fear of the Lord]. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel [you are not to be adorned with these things - this is fleshly and worldly]; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. [more on this below]

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. [Sara is our example - how did she obey? Look it up to find out. The Lord God gave us our husbands and they are our head, our protection, the ones we are to submit to.
 If we do not submit to them in everything, then we are not trusting in God, because He is the one who put them over us - please search this out if you do not agree.] Mark 12:29-31 And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these. [are you really loving your neighbor when you are dressing in a way that invites him to lust after you?] 1 Cor. 11:3-5 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head [men, do not pray with your hats on ... this is dishounoring to the Lord. If this simply meant hair, men would have to take their hair off before they pray. Men are to come before the LORD with boldness, lifting up holy hands 1 Timothy 2:8] But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. [women are to have covered heads - in 1 Timothy 2:9 it says "in like manner also" ... as the man is to come before the LORD boldly with his hands raised up and his head uncovered, the woman is to be covered, shamefaced, shy, meek, and so on.]

The Lord made men and women DIFFERENT!!! He gave us each different roles ... this is nothing to be ashamed of. Brother David actually spoke of some of these things in his message yesterday, so I'll use a few things here that he said. Man is the aggressor. Notice how the Lord says that 'whoseover looketh on a WOMEN with lust in HIS heart commits adultery WITH HER'. He said nothing about a woman looking on a man with lust in her heart. Yet today, with all the confusion in gender, roles, and so on, women can do this too. But, in the beginning it was not set up that way; it's not God's fault we have perverted it. So, I'll only deal with the way the Lord made it, not the way man perverted it. Since men are the agrressors, women are to be shy, shamefaced, meek and so on, as to not attract undue attention to her beauty, shape, etc. For this reason, modesty is always directed towards women in the Bible. We must be very careful that we do not become a stumbling block to any man, whether our 'brother' or not. Notice the Word says if a man looks on a woman with lust in his heart, he commits adultery WITH her. If she is dressed in an impure way, to draw attention, showing skin, wearing fancy clothes, face painted, jewelry, and so on, she is a partaker in this adulterous act. Notice also that in 1 Peter 3 it says that a meek and quiet spirit is something of GREAT VALUE to the Lord. He loves this and wants us to be this way. On the other side, what does the Lord think of a woman who is loud, obnoxious, and so on? If a woman is not in her place yet claims to be a follower of Christ, she is blaspheming the Word of God. This is not my idea though, it is the Lord's Word. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, what does a Christian woman look and act like? She is properly covered with nothing showing that does not need to be shown. Her clothing is loose so as to not attract attention to her shape or form. There is enough fabric in her skirt or dress so she can walk naturally; it is not so tight that it needs a slit and shows the shape of her backside. She does not wear pants because those are clearly for men, and why would she want to wear men's clothing? Besides that, pants show too much of her shape - especially the shape of her backside. Her skirt or dress is long enough so she can bend over to pick something up [ideally though she would stoop down instead of bend over] or sit down without her legs showing; if there is a chance of a small part of her leg showing, she should have on socks so her naked skin is not exposed. A little 'peak' of naked skin could cause a man to stumble - she knows she must be very careful. Her clothing is plain and simple - worn for utilitarian reasons rather than for fashion or show. The pattern is not flashy and the color is not bold so as to attract attention. She does not wear jewelry or make-up ... she realizes that these things serve NO PURPOSE other than vanity and to attract attention, which is clearly unpleasing to the Lord. She knows too that make-up and jewelry alter the way the Lord made her and gives her a 'false front'. Her head is covered with a flowing veil. She does not try to leave some of her hair out in the front so she can style it a little bit - this is vanity as well. She wears the veil as a sign of submission to her husband; if she is not married, she wears the veil as a sign of sumbission to the Lord. If she is not in submission to her husband or the Lord, yet still wears the veil, she is blaspheming the Lord. She realizes too that a meek and quiet spirit is of great price to the Lord. She can be the most modestly dressed person one has ever seen, yet if she is not modest on the inside as well, she is blaspheming the Lord. Her movements are subtle and her voice is quiet and calm so as not to attract attention. She speaks gently to those around her; she does not raise her voice, get frustrated, or any other such thing. She is cautious and does not act in haste. She is content and happily serving the Lord in her rightful role He has given her. She does not try to lead the family or the church; she is a helper in every way that is pleasing to the Lord and to her husband. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I must also say that as Christians, we are called out from the world. We are to have NO FELLOWSHIP with it. Fellowship means, "Companionship; society; consort; mutual association of persons on equal and friendly terms; familiar intercourse." We are not to be CONFORMED to this world. Conformed means, "Made to resemble; reduced to a likeness of; made agreeable to; suited; to fashion one's self according to." If we claim to be a Christian yet look and act like the world, are we really following Christ? Do sheep dress in wolves' clothing? No. John 17:14-16 I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Romans 12:1, 2 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. 2 Corinthians 6:14-1814Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. James 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. 1 John 2:15-17 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. 2 Peter 2:20For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought it would be nice to end this by quoting from some early Christians. I obtained all of these quotes from David Bercot's book, "The Dictionary of Early Christian Beliefs". He got the quotes from reading them first hand out of the early Christian writings (commonly known as the Ante-Nicene fathers). I have all of their works on my computer and I have read most of these quotes in context before.

These first set of quotes are all from Clement of Alexandria (c. 195AD) "By no manner of means are women to be allowed to uncover and exhibit any part of their person. Otherwise, both may fall - the men by being excited to look; the women, by drawing to themselves the eyes of the men." "Let women be fully clothed: by garments on the outside and by modesty on the inside." "They must not do as some do. For some women imitate the acting of comedy. They practice the mincing motions of dancers, and they conduct themselves in society as if on the stage. That is, they go around with voluptuous movements and gliding steps, pretentious voices, and casting languishing glances round." "How much wiser to spend money on human beings, than on jewels and gold ... For women should be adorned within, and show the inner woman beautiful." "Let not their ears be pierced, contrary to nature, in order to attach to them earrings." "Neither are we to provide for ourselves costly clothing." "Luxurious clothing that cannot conceal the shape of the body is no more a covering. For such clothing, falling close to the body, takes its form more easily. Clinging to the body as though it were the flesh, it receives its shape and outlines the woman's figure. As a result, the whole make of the body is visible to spectators, although they cannot see the body itself." "Buying, as they do, a single dress at the price of ten thousand talents, they prove themselves to be of less use and less value than cloth." "Those who glory in their looks - not in their hearts - dress to please others." "It is never suitable for women whose lives are framed according to God to appear in public clothed in things brought from the market. Rather, they should be clothed in their own homemade work. For a most beautiful thin is a thrifty wife, who clothes both herself and her husband." {I thought that was interesting ... why buy something and spend so much money if you can just make it yourself and save the money for better uses?} "He takes away anxious care for clothes, food, and all luxuries as being unneccessary. What are we to imagine, then, shold be said about love of embellishments, the dyeing of wool, and the variety of colors? What should be said bout the love of gems, exquisite working of gold, and still more, of artificial hair and wreathed curls? Furthermore, what should be said about staining the eyes, plucking out hairs, painting with rouge and white lead, dyeing of the hair, and the wicked arts that are employed in such deceptions?" "Those women who wear gold imitate the Egyptians. They occupy themselves with curling their locks. They are busy anointing their cheeks, painting their eyes, dyeing their hair, and practicing other pernicious arts of luxury. The truth is that they deck the covering of their flesh in order to attract their infatuated lovers." "If anyone were to refer to these women as prostitutes, he would make no mistake. For they turn their faces into masks." "Nor are the women to smear their faces with the ensnaring devices of wily cunning. But let us show to them the decoration of sobriety."

These quotes are from Tertullian (C. 198AD) "Most women ... have the boldness to walk as if modesty consisted only in the bare integrity of the flesh and in turning away from actual fornication ... They wear in their gait the same appearance as do the women of the nations, from whom the sense of true modesty is absent ... In short, how many women are there who do not earnestly desire to look pleasing to strangers? Who does not on that very account take care to have herself painted out, yet denying that she has ever been an object of carnal appetite?" "Why, therefore, excite toward yourself that evil passion? Why invite that so which you profess yourself a stranger?" "Are we to paint ourselves out so that our neighbors may perish? What happened to, "you will love your neighbor as yourself?" "She should not show off [her beauty], but should rather obscure it." "[Was it] God who introduced the fashion of finely-cut wounds for the ears? Did he set so high a value upon the tormenting of His own work and the tortures of innocent infancy? For they learn to suffer with their earliest breath, in order that from those scare of the body ... should hang I know not what." "Concerning modesty of dress and embellishments, indeed, the commandment of Peter is likewise plain, restraining as he does with the same mouth ... the glory of garments, the pride of gold, and the showy elaboration of the hair." "First, then, blessed sisters, take heed that you do not admit to your use flashy and sluttish garbs and clothing." "For those women sin against God when they rub their skin with ointments, stain their cheeks with rouge, and make their eyes prominent with antimony. To them, I suppose, the artistic skill of God is displeasing!" "Whatever is born is the work of God. So whatever is plastered on, is the devils' work ... How unworthy of the Christian name it is to wear a fictitious face - you on whom simplicity in every form is enjoyed! You, to whom lying with the tongue is not lawful, are lying in appearance." "It was the fact that Tamar had painted out and adorned herself that led Judah to regard her as a harlot." "Draw your whiteness from simplicity, your ruddy hue from modesty. Paint your eyes with bashfulness, and your mouth with silence. Implant in your ears the words of God and place around your necks the yoke of Christ."

Hippolytus (c. 205AD) ""Now Susannah was a very delicate woman." This does not mean that she had flashy adornments on herself or eyes painted with various colors - as Jezebel had. Rather, it means she had the adornment of faith, chastity, and sanctity."

Novatian (c. 235AD) "She is not a modest woman who strives to stir up the fancy of another - even though her physical chastity is preserved. Away with those who do not really adorn their beauty, but prostitute it instead. For anxiety about beauty is not only the wisdom of an evil mind, but belongs to deformity."

Commodianus (c. 240 AD) "You are adorned at the mirror, with your curled hair turned back from your brow. Moreover, with evil purpose, you put on false cosmetics. You put antimony on your pure eyes, with painted beauty. Or you dye your hair, so that it will always be black ... But these things are not necessary for modest women." "It is not right before God that a faithful Christian woman should be adorned ... God's heralds ... condemn as being unrighteous those women who adorn themselves in such a manner. You stain your hair. You paint the opening of your eyes with black. You lift up your hair, one by one, on your painted brow. You anoint your cheeks with some sort of reddish color laid on ... You are rejecting the law when you wish to please the world."

Cyprian (c. 250AD) "But self-control and modesty do not consist only in purity of the flesh, but also in seemliness and in modesty of dress and adornment." "The characteristics of jewelry, garments, and the allurements of beauty are not fitting for anyone except prostitutes and immodest women." "Has God willed that wounds should be made in the ears, by which infancy - as yet innocent and unconscious of worldly evil - may be put to pain? Has He willed this so that, at a later time, precious beads may hang from the scars and holes of the ears? ... All of these things the sinning and apostate angels put forth by their arts, when, lowered to the contagions of earth, they forsook their heavenly vigor. They also taught women to paint the eyes with blackness drawn around them in a circle and to stain the cheeks with a deceitful red." "But self-control and modesty do not consist only in purity of the flesh, but also in seemliness and in modesty of dress and adornment." "both sexes alike should be admonished that the worked of God and His fashioning and formation should in no manner be adulterated - either with the application of yellow color, black dust, rouge, or with any kind of cosmetic ... God says, "Let us make man in our image and likeness." Does anyone dare to alter and change what God has made?" "In their manners, there was no discipline ... In women, their complexion was dyed. Their eyes were falsified from what God's hand had made them. Their hair was stained with a falsehood." "Do not paint your face, which is God's workmanship. For there is no part of you that lacks beauty. For God has made all things very good. But the wanton extra adorning of what is already good is an affront to the Creator's work."

Apostolic Constitutions (compiled in 390) I'd like to note that the early Christians did not question whether or not a women needed to wear a veil - they all knew that. Their question in the late 100's-early 200's was whether or not a virgin ("from the time they have passed the turning point of their age") should wear a veil. They agreed that yes, she should wear a veil. They also had different ideas on what the veil should look like. Some thought it should go over the face as well, however from what I can tell, all thought it was to be a veil and not a 'cap'. The early Christians also had much to say about men having beards - in brief, they called it 'deceptive trickery' to alter the shape of the beard, trimming it into a nice shape, plucking some of it out, shaving around the mouth, arranging the hair of it, etc. because the beard is the sign or mark of man. Only those concerned about their looks would trim it nice and neat. They also believed that men should have short hair - let the head of men be clipped; cut the hair on the head short. But this is a discussion about women so I'll leave that research up to you.